Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he'd like to eat. "I'll have some f*ckin' French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more f*ckin' French toast for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don't know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don't want the f*ckin' French toast."
A famous American golfer is invited to go to China for a golfing tournament. From the second he gets there, he is treated like a king. He is given five-star treatment in a five-star hotel until the day of the tournament. The night before the tournament, he is sitting in his hotel room watching TV. A hot Asian girl walks up to his room and he says, "Wow. They must really love me here." He begins to have sex with her the whole night. She continues to scream, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!," but he ignores it. At the tournament, the American golfer gets a hole-in-one and gets really excited. He starts yelling, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!" One of the Chinese golfers says, "What do you mean 'WRONG HOLE'?"
2 cowboys talking about s*x. 1 cowboy says 'I like the rodeo position !' 'I haven't heard of that ... ' says the other cowboy, 'what is it ?' 'Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round and cup both of her breasts and whisper 'these feel just like your sisters' and try and hold on for 8 seconds !'
There is a blonde, a brunette, and a red head running from blonde police and they run down an alley. The red hides in a garbage. The brunette hides in a tree The blonde hides in a huge sack of potatoes. The cops pass the red and she says, "Meow" and the cops thinks its a cat. The cops pass the brunette and she lightly moves the tree and the cops think its the wind. The cops pass the blonde and one of the cops steps on a potatoes the blonde says, "Mashed potatoes."
This young boy named Don walked into a whorehouse, slammed his money on the counter and said, "I want a woman!" The man behind the counter asked, "How old are you? "Don, replied, "I'm 17! "The man said, "Your too young, come back when your older, mean while practice on trees. "A year later Don once again came back to the whorehouse, swung the front door open, then shut, stomped over to the front desk and slammed his money on the counter harder then before. He screamed, "GIVE ME A WOMAN!" The man behind the counter said, "How old are you?" Don, shouted, "I AM 18!" The man took Don's money and said, "OK, up stairs, second door on the left." Don didn't miss a beat. He ran up those stairs so fast he skipped every other step. It wasn't about 5 minutes later when the man behind the counter heard the whore up stairs screaming in complete and utter agony. So he jumped over the counter and ran up the stairs. Once at the room he kicked in the door and to his surprise Don had a broomstick shoved right up the whore's p*ssy. The man shouted, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Don simply replied, "Checking for squirrels..."
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" No. The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" No. The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck." The farmer shot Chuck.
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